Our New Guy

(Oscar is 11 weeks old and I am just now getting to the point where I am willing to give up sleep to blog.  I guess that reflects what kind of a sleeper he has been...)

Oscar Glenn McMillan was born 
March 21 at 8:51 a.m. 

7 lb 9 oz, 19.75 inches. 

Proud Papa

Minutes old

The name.

March 21st at 8:51 a.m, our little boy joined our family.  He didn't yet have a name but it wasn't too long after he was born that I would look at him and know that he was our Oscar.  Truth be told, I have loved the name Oscar for a long time, and it was at the top of our list when I was pregnant with Finn--our favorite name had been Oscar Finn at that time.  After we met Finn we just knew he wasn't our Oscar, and with a broken heart, I let the name go. Finn Ian soon became equally precious to me, as it was without a doubt, Finn's name.  So this time around, after that experience, I stayed as open-minded as possible with regard to this little boy's name. We took with us to the hospital quite a long list of names that we liked, knowing only one thing, that his middle name would be after his wonderful grandfather, either Glenn or Avery. In the days that followed his birth we easily crossed many names off of our list as they clearly weren't right. But as we continued to consider several names, in my mind, every time I woke up to him or gazed at him, I would think "Hi there little Oscar." The day before we left the hospital I let Jeremy know of my experiences, and he quickly agreed that it was Oscar who had arrived to our family. Oscar Glenn McMillan. It is perfect for him.

The birth...a photographic journal.

I can't start writing about Oscar's birth, without first sharing a great treasure that my sweet, talented friend Robyn provided for us-- Oscar's birth story in photos.  I think it was a couple weeks before Oscar was born that the idea to document his birth this way popped into my head. And of course paramount to the the idea was Robyn as the photographer; it was Robyn, or nobody. Before I even mentioned it to Jeremy, I asked her how she would feel about documenting a birth, just so I'd know if it was even an idea worth pursuing. She was enthusiastic (as I suspected and hoped she would be) and wanted to talk right away. After I discussed it with Jeremy, we gathered over tacos and Velveeta nachos (a Kessler-McMillan fave that will certainly be served at Finn and Berkeley's wedding) to talk about the plan. I knew that not only would Robyn do an amazing job, but she would also be a wonderful presence at the birth.

There were several things that prompted this idea. First of all, I wanted something to set our second live birth apart; the pregnancy certainly got less attention, and I knew he would get less attention after birth  by nature of his position in the family. He was the same gender as Finn, so this didn't set him apart.  We had a maternity photo session with Robyn when expecting Finn, and were gifted a session with her that we used for his first birthday. A birth session was something that would let Oscar know that he was also a big deal.  I wanted the photos for me as well.  I wanted to be able to live in the moment, and not worry about whether we were getting pictures taken. I wanted to be able to witness his birth after the fact, without the haziness of exhaustion, and from a different vantage point. I wanted help remembering exactly how I felt, and the emotions that came with the moments.

I couldn't be happier with the decision we made to document Oscar's birth with Robyn's help. The results gave me everything I envisioned, and more. She provided us with such a powerful, emotion-filled journal of one of the most important events in our lives. I'm so grateful. I'm in awe of her talent. Even when everything was happening so fast, she captured everything with perfection. At first I felt protective of these photos, maybe a bit sheepish about sharing them, or some emotion I can't name. But the more I've looked at them, the more proud I am of them and want to share. I'm proud of myself, of Jeremy, of Oscar, of our whole family and of Robyn as the author.

Here is the link to the pieces Robyn shared on her blog:  Oscar's Birth

I'll share more of my favorite photos on this blog when I get the digital files. She took hundreds!

The birth story: part I.

Our baby boy was due on March 18-20. He had a "due zone" rather than a due date because two of our very early ultrasounds provided differing dates. Our OB arbitrarily picked March 20th when it came down to filling out the paperwork. As the due zone approached we didn't feel quite as riddled with anxiety as when we were expecting Finn's arrival.  My mom had already come into town, but not as early as she had for Finn, since he had arrived several days late. We were all just enjoying time with Finn before he would have to share our attention, and frankly, I was a little scared at the prospect of juggling the needs of two children. There were some financial advantages to Oscar coming March 21 or later with regard to insurance costs to our family based on the dates of my pregnancy disability coverage. Basically, we didn't mind him being late!  At the same time, I was so very excited to meet him, and my OB was leaving town at the end of the week. I absolutely love her and wanted her to deliver our baby if at all possible. So when the due date came (Tuesday), and I had an OB appointment that day, I asked the nurse practitioner to strip my membranes to see if it would get things going. There had been surprisingly little progress given that a few days earlier we actually thought I was in labor with strong contractions every 10 minutes for several hours.

I went to bed the night of March 20th at about 10 pm but couldn't fall asleep for about an hour. At the exact hour that Finn had announced his imminent arrival, I was awakened to the clenching pains of labor. It was midnight, and I had once again slept about an hour before I was to be up all night laboring. Gah! Why couldn't my babies start coming during the day?!?  I let a few contractions come and go before awaking fully to track their frequency and gauge whether this was the real thing...every 10 minutes...but this had happened before and petered out. 

Something about being in labor makes me have an immediate desire to be clean.  As soon as I was relatively certain I was in labor, I drew a bath for that purpose as well as to help with pain relief. As I sat in the bath I started having mini contractions every 3 minutes along with the big contractions every ten.  I decided I'd better wrap things up with my leisurely bath. Jeremy helped me wash my hair and rinse and we had a nice moment together, perhaps both of us gathering strength and courage for the journey ahead, but mostly sharing our love and wordlessly expressing our excitement at having a new little baby boy.  

We woke my mom and Jeremy scurried about gathering our things.  My mom called the night nurse as per protocol. Annoyingly, the nurse insisted on talking to me as I writhed in pain, even though my mom could have answered all of the questions (the answers to which mostly could have been found in my medical record anyway).  Based on the frequency of my contractions, even though my water had not broken, I was instructed to head to the hospital.  For the 2nd time that week, we called Jeremy's mom, as it had previously been discussed that she wanted to be called no matter the hour. We were pleased that she had wanted to be up here with us and with Finn at the time of the birth, so that was the plan. She had pre-packed a bag and started her 2 hr drive right away. Our next phone call was to Robyn, who didn't have to ask why we were calling at such an hour. 

With the frequency of my contractions, Jeremy was anxious to get me to the hospital. But I couldn't leave the house without first creeping into Finn's room as he slept. I dangled my arm over the side of his crib and ran my fingers through his soft hair. I cried as I stayed there through a few contractions, not out of pain, but feeling a heart bursting with love for this little boy. I think I felt the need to say goodbye to him as my baby, to say goodbye to this precious and simple time period we'd been sharing. We'd nailed life, figured it out together, and now it was all going to be rocked and shaken, and would Finn understand?  But at the same time I knew this change would be good for him, and that it was right for our family.

My mom stayed behind with Finn (and couldn't sleep, so decided to bake muffins, of course!) and Jeremy and I drove out through the dark, quiet streets to the hospital. When Kathy arrived my mom would use her car to join us at the hospital. On our way there, my contractions slowed down. I stopped having the every 3 minute ones, and wasn't even sure if they were happening every ten anymore. We feared that this was another false labor, but we went in anyway. They soon checked me out and I was 3 1/2 cm...it was real.  Once I was settled, hooked up onto the monitors and with my IV placed, Jeremy left to move the car. A nurse soon announced Robyn's arrival so that I could "clear her" entrance. It was exciting for me to see her...this was really happening!!

Similarly to when I had Finn, when I was wheeled in to the labor and delivery room, my eyes first fell on the little bassinet and warmer that would hold our new baby. My heart filled with emotion and I started crying, so thrilled at the prospect of meeting this boy. 
(The rest of the story will be told in installments....check back for more posts if interested!)